Back in the day the coolest thing any creative — whether art director or copywriter — could have was a Gomes Loew sign.
Gomes-Loew Productions, founded by Dick Loew and George Gomes, was a TV commercial production house famous for their big screen movie look and — to a copywriter at least — their technically tricky shots. (I remember one shot where, as they moved right there was a beautiful oak beam — needed I think for a cut — but as the camera moved back over the same exact area, the beam wasn’t needed and so, magically, it was gone.)
Dick Loew directed several of my TV commercials. They looked great then; they look great now. I remember a corner office excutive attended at least one of the TV commercial shoots. Working with Gomes-Loew for a young copywriter, was definitely big time.
Months later, one afternoon in the autumn someone called to check on the spelling of my name. “Grant, G-R-A-N-T” “What’s this for?” I asked. “A Christmas gift” they said. Neither the gift nor the giver was explained any further.
Some weeks later I got another odd call.
“There’s something for you, here at the front desk.”
“I hope it isn’t breakable” I said, clueless.
“I think it is breakable” the young lady said.
It was yes! my name in neon light.
Though the sign was kind of cool, it wasn’t something a grown up would have in their office, was it?
Yes, it is. For my boss, his boss and his boss’s boss all had these in their offices.
And often they were on, blazing a fire-engine red in even the most brightly lit office.
Several years later, while arranging a hanging plant?, I moved my arm back and realized I had broken the most valuable thing in the room, maybe the apartment. My Gomes-Loew sign. I immediately had it repaired probably by the same company that had made it on the West Side of Manhattan.
“What was your signed filled with, buddy?”
“I don’t know. Neon, maybe.”
What color was it”
“Red.”
“That’s neon, then. If you want we can fill it with other gases . Helium for green, or argon for blue. There are other colors too: white, pink, yellow, whatever you want.”
I considered refilling the sign with helium for a green St. Paddy’s Day look. Except then it would appear I had ordered my own neon sign, and I had not been given a Gomes-Lowe one. I had it refilled with the original neon.
I still have mine. I think I’ll go turn it on now.
Note to Nigerian scam.
Wallace Wang, the author of Steal This Computer Book 3: What They Won’t Tell You about the Internet knows far more than I do about this scam. It really is run by Nigerians, possibly extending into their government. They really do hate Americans. And the fraud business is so popular there that this kind of evil marketing scam may be the third biggest industry in Nigeria.
Oww. Cancel that trip to Lagos Abuja.
From Adrants comes news that a former copywriter and creative director has published a medley of fiction and nonfiction about the Nigerian email scams.
From what I understand, if one were foolish enough to deliver lots of cash in person to the marketing letter writer in Nigeria, that was the last you were ever from. Really.
Tuesdays with Mantu: My Adventures with a Nigerian Con Artist is the title of the book.
Unfortunately,the deep cover investigation of the scammer is fiction, but the scam mechanics and emails themselves are true.
Wouldn’t this make a heck of a movie? Maybe with Don Cheadle as the head scammer. It could be creepy as heck. A modern internet scam that goes back into old Colonial Africa, and ends up with horrific murders somewhere in the uncharted African jungle. I’m firing up my Final Draft software right now.
Here is an actual Nigerian email I received:
From: mariama@aeneasmail.com
To: @aeneasmail.com
Subject: [inbox] YOU ARE MY LAST HOPE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY!
CONTACT ME URGENTLY AND ALSO YOUR MOBILE PHONE NUMBER
STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL/URGENT
FROM: MRS. MARIAM ABACHA
ATTN: PRESIDENT/CEO
Altenative Email address (mrs_mariamabacha_family@yahoo.com)
I am Mrs. Mariam Abacha, the widow of the late Gen.Sanni Abacha former Nigerian Military Head of State who died mysteriously as a result of Cardiac Arrest.Since after my husbands death, my family is under
restriction of movement and that notwithstanding, we are being molesting; policing and our Bank Account both here and abroad are being frozen by the Nigerian Civilian Government. Furthermore, my elder son is in detention by the Nigerian Government for more interrogation about my husbands assets and some vital document.
Following the recent discovery of my husbands Bank Account by the
Nigerians Government with Swiss Bank in which the huge sum of US$700 Million and Dutch 450 Million was logged. I therefore decided to contact you in confidence that I was above to move out the sum of US$23.5 Million Dollars, which was secret and is sealed in two Metal Boxes for security reasons.
I personally therefore appeal to you seriously and religiously for your urgent assistant to move this money into your country where I believe it will be safe since I cannot leave the country due to the restriction movement imposed on the members of my family by the Nigerian Government.
Once you indicate your interest to assist me in this transaction I will give you my family Lawyer contact phone and fax numbers with the Chambers address who will arrange with you for face to face meeting out side Nigerian in order to liaise with you toward effective completion of this transaction since my movement is restricted and my telephone conversation is being monitored.
However, arrangements have been put in place to move this money out of the country in the secret vault through a security company to abroad and as soon as you indicate your interest, my Lawyer shall send you the Air Bill of the Luggage and other related documents so that you can help
to claim the Luggage.
Conclusively, we have agreed to offer you 30% of the total sum, while 60% is to be held on trust by you until we decide on a suitable business investment in your country and more also 10% is mapped out for internal and external expenses. Subsequent to our free movement by the Nigerian
Government. Please, reply urgently and treat with absolute confidentiality and sincerity.
Please vist this website.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/africa/newsid_909000/909972.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/africa/newsid_877000/877113.stm
Best regards,
MRS. MARIAM ABACHA
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
FREE Email? You bet. http://www.aeneasmail.com
Nationwide Internet, Local and Long Distance Telephone up to 30% less!!
Aeneas Internet and Telephone – http://www.aeneas.com
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I have some of those questions copywriters like to throw at account people. Why is the death mysterious if it is from cardiac arrest? Then, too, we colonials would see the miltary head of state as likely evil and the civilian government as democratic and good, but the writer of this letter sees just the opposite. The civilians are evil, the dead military Head of State (dictator?) is good? Why?
Note the wonderful copywriting style: official, yet bowing to you the reader as a former colonial power: “appeal to you seriously and religiously,” ” treat with absolute confidentiality and sincerity.” (The verb form from “liaison” sounds painful or too intimate, though: “liaise with you.”)
Look at the wonderful old-time captalization of nouns: “family Lawyer, ” “Bank Account” for sums of the size embezzled by heads of state, “Swiss Bank, ” the fearsome “Metal Box” containing “US$23.5 Million Dollars” in cash, “claim the Luggage.” That last is where this king’s ransom is currently hidden.
It’s Dickensian, as if you somehow had fallen in with Fagin and the boys or crossed some murky borderland into Joseph Conrad’s African nightmare, The Heart of Darkness.
Sadly, at the end is a mundane pitch for internet, email and telephone service; even scammers have to pay the rent while they wait for the Big Score.
BTW, if you wrote this email marketing campaign, let me know. Was this a profitable mailing? Are those murder stories true? And are you really Nigerian?